Things People Say (When They See You Painting)
-Is that supposed to be that over there?
-Why don’t you put that tree in it?
-My daughter is a great artist.
-Did you mean to do that line there like that?
-I wish I could paint.
-Have you seen that guy who paints planets with car paints?
-It must be very relaxing to paint.
-It’s very detailed.
-My son is very good at drawing pictures.
-You’re very like Van Gogh.
-Why do you paint pictures like that?
-Can you do caricatures?
-Why don’t you paint nice pictures?
-I wish I had time to paint.
-Why don’t you put that dog in it?
-Have you heard of Bob Ross?
-I used to be very good at art.
-Why are you painting the sky brown?
-Just as a matter of interest, why are you not including that car in the painting?
-Can I ask you why you’re painting the street brown when it’s a blacktop?
-I wish you could see the pictures my wife paints?
-Does the smell of the paints not bother you?
-Do you mind if I ask you why you’re using that size brush now?
-Why don’t you paint real pictures?
-I like your work; I think you’d love my wife.
-Why are you painting outdoors when all you’re painting is shapes?
-Why are you painting that building when the pretty one is over there?
-Do you find it therapeutic to paint?
-Are you not putting any clouds in?
-Do you do portraits?
-You know what you should do?
-I want to commission you to do me a painting.
-Okay.
-I want it to be dark.
-Okay.
-Very dark.
-Okay.
-I want it to be black.
-I’m happy to do that for you but it would be a lot cheaper if you just painted it yourself.
-Well maybe a little bit of color as well as the black.
-Will you do a portrait of me with my husband? And could you put the kids in it too?
-Sure, but you do realize that the finished painting will be abstract.
-Cool! So we’ll all look colorful like those Van Gogh pictures, or have contorted facial features like our nose viewed from the side when our face is viewed from the front?
-No, you won’t have any facial features, you’ll be pure black, and you’ll look like a bunch of shapes like those Suprematism pictures.
-Oh.
-What are you painting?
-This.
-All I can see is brown.
-Well, when you think about it, isn’t everything brown?
Eolaí gan Fhéile:
Doesn’t anyone ever just say “Marvelous!”, and then leave you alone?
I know I’m dangerously close to sounding like one of these comments with mine, but I so enjoyed this! I have spent many hours at my mom’s side when she was painting somewhere, and yes… the comments are priceless. We’ve heard many of these. “why are you painting that horse blue when he’s white?” “why doesn’t that girl have a face?” One of mom’s favourites is, “Oh cool, you paint. Can you draw too?” One of mine is, “Did YOU do that?!?!” While she is standing there doing that. why yes, sherlock, what was gave it away?
Are you not putting any clouds in?
That’s my favourite.
I enjoyed the one from the guy who said you’d like his wife. Was that an invitation?
Hee.
Your examples are illustrative of the suffering artist syndrome because you have to endure all manner of stupid jerky comments, Eolai.
Martha - I don’t believe they ever have. Mind you in fairness whatever they saw may well not have been marvellous.
Jennifer - Ah yes, I’d forgotten, I’ve had the “Did you do that?” question too. I may even have responded “No”.
ProblemChildBride - Clouds are a very emotive subject, though ironically there is a lot of grey area.
Medbh - When there’s more than one person watching they often talk to each other about your painting as if you’re not there. That’s endurance, that is.