It’s Bleedin’ Freezin’
Perhaps you heard. We’ve had some ice.
It looks like snow. But it’s hard. Frozen. When it comes down it’s like a soft rain. Very fine drops. Only they’re frozen.
And they make an awful clatter as they hit their frozen friends on the ground.
In centigrade it’s been minus 17 for the last 12 hours. The tea cosy has its work cut out. Going to the bathroom is no fun. You know the way usually it’s loads of fun? When it’s this cold, typing is hard. So are nipples.
My porch reeks of garlic. Well I don’t have any ordinary salt. The cars going down the road don’t make a dent in the pseudo-snow; they just re-arrange it.
I haven’t said anything funny for four days. Even to myself. The dog’s tail doesn’t wag anymore. I’ve lost one of my testicles. Or the feeling in one of my hands. I wish the landlord would fix those windows he promised he would three years ago.
You may have noticed I’m going through the motions. That will continue for at least the next six hours.
The forecast says that over the next six hours a rapid freeze up is likely. What the hell does that mean?
See Other Ridiculous Weather Related Stuff:
• Talking About Temperatures in Ireland and Amrerica
• Dear Ireland, Kansas City is hot
• A Kansas City Phone Call To An Irish Mother
• Going Out The In Door In The Midwest Of America
• It May Be Winter Outside
Eolaí gan Fhéile:
keep those extremities warm, especially the ones you can’t feel or have lost
Mikhael Gorbachev rubbed off me once, as it happens. Not in an inappropriate way, I must add, just squeezing past me to get to his dinner.
No, really.
We had the ice storm on New Years Eve that knocked our power out for 20 hours. The only time I was warm was when I had three blankets and the cat! It’s fun listening to trees explode and come crashing down on you and your house.
Check out these videos of my property after the first of two ice storms:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JThv8ax3dlc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYsKIcDu9uA
At least I got to buy a chainsaw!!!
Aaron
Greagoir,
I’ll see your foreign slaphead celebrity and raise you an Irish slaphead celebrity - Ms Sinead O’Connor who stood beside me (for ages, like) in Dolphin Discs as we both looked at the bargain tapes and the Country music selections. I couldn’t move a muscle - that’s a physical impact.
Aaron,
Yes, I must confess we’ve had it very easy this time around with the ice storm. The combination of how beautiful they are, and how dangerous they are, is a wonder.