Impressing The Ladies
Talking and walking were without reservation the things I instantly listed in America whenever I was asked what I missed about Ireland.
I had a friend there who also listed talking and walking as the two things he missed the most about Ireland, though in his case he put walking first.
Either way, we agreed that the acts of walking and talking, as we meant them, were related.
Once upon a time in America I shared living space with somebody who in the depths of winter would, if left unfettered, set the heating on 91 or 92 degrees. Fahrenheit, obviously, but nonetheless that represented a temperature of 33 degrees Celsius, a temperature that Ireland never sees even during summer. Not even during what we label a heatwave.
All over the house, it was 33 degrees inside, by choice.
Doing cold well, I come from the other end of the spectrum and if I was left unfettered I’d have the heating set at, well I don’t know - the thermometers wouldn’t tell me. Honestly they wouldn’t. Because I’d have set them lower than their minimum.
Something I brought to America was a small thermometer that the ESB gave out encouraging you to save energy by lowering the heating in your home. This encouragement was done by the juxaposition of judgmental phrases beside the temperature scale. If I recall correctly there was “Too Hot”, “Hot”, “Warm”, “Ideal”, “Economical”, “Cool”, and “Cold”.
In Ireland this was great, like having your own household umpire on all matters temperature. So when your mother asked “Is it me or is it warm in here”, you would have a quick consult with your paper Solomon before confirming that it was in fact your mother because in the house it was “ideal”. And the next month, or hour even, when your mother pronounced it cold in the house you could point out that she was way off and the term for what we were feeling was “economical”.
It’s only mothers this applies to. Irish Fathers are as likely to talk temperatures as they are to talk about the cubic centimetres of liquid in their cup of tea.
I bring this up because that thermometer was useless in America. Similar style thermometers in the US only overlapped slightly with my thermometer from Ireland. The US bottom was the Ireland top.
As I remember it here are those temperatures on the Irish thermometer:
Too Hot 24C (75F)
Hot 22C (71.5F)
Warm 20C (68F)
Ideal 18C (64.5F)
Economical 16C (61F)
Cool 14C (57F)
Cold 12C (53.5F)
So in Ireland I was happiest, back when I used to be happy that is, down at 12 degrees C (about 53-54F). But in America those temperatures, and several above it, didn’t exist. Not on fridge magnet thermometers nor on the one that controlled the heating. So even left unfettered I couldn’t get anywhere near my desired temperature.
I was never unfettered however, and the comprise temperature, on those rare occasions when compromise reigned, was a chilly 86 degrees Fahrenheit (30 Celsius).
So in summer the temperatures were so hot they were off the Irish scale. And in winter, well the temperatures were so hot they were off the Irish scale.
This meant that I loved walking out into sub freezing temperatures. Everybody’s house, every building, and everybody’s car, was too hot for me. I got heat rashes over most of my body every day.
So alone in my own car I didn’t just choose to leave the heating off; I left my coat off. And I opened the windows for the whole 15 mile drive to work. My body was buffered from the bitingly cold temperatures by all the heat it had absorbed in the hours away from my car.
And then I parked as far away as I could from the office door so that I could get some sense of what walking was like. One such freezing morning on that long 50 meter hike to the office, I was joined by a man who had opted for the shorter walk of 20 meters. Our walks to the building joined when we were just 10 meters away.
I didn’t know him and I’d never seen him before. He didn’t open with the more traditional “Hello” or “Good Morning”. Instead he spat out angry sentences. I don’t know why, but it appeared to be my fault.
-Where’s your coat?
-I don’t really need one; I’m just going in there.
-It’s 17 degrees (-8C) out here.
-Yes but I’m expecting to be in that building in seconds and for the heating to be on in there.
-I suppose you think it impresses the ladies.
Stunned into silence I held the door open for him. The next day it occurred to me that once we entered the door I should have asked why he was wearing a coat inside in such warm temperatures (it was 71 - “Hot”). I mean he still had some distance to go to his office.
But anyway, who are these women who are impressed by such great coatless walking feats?
See Some Differences Between Ireland & the US:
• Turkeyed Out
• End Times
• Exits
• Valentine’s Day
• Fun
Eolaí gan Fhéile:
I still don’t get the whole Talking and walking thing. How exactly is that hard to do in America? I can understand if you are in the middle of the midwest…but everywhere else it’s fairly easy/common. Am I missing something in translation?
As for the roommate heat situation - was it in an apartment? People generally have the heat included and they therefore abuse it. Unless you are an 80+ year old - no one needs that type of heat. I always hated it when you would go inside from the cold and feel as if you were being baked.
Just having come back from Ireland, and being used to keeping our house around “ideal” on your ESB thermometer, I gotta say, I felt cold on vacation. I was most comfortable with a fleece jacket on all the time indoors. I saw people walking around the hotel where the festival was held in clothes meant to impress the gentlemen, and I marveled at their hardy constitutions.
On the positive side, this made bed much more enticing (the only place to stay warm) so I got much more sleep than usual (okay, yes, being on vacation may have had something to do with that also). It also increased the appeal of tea.
When my dad comes to visit next week, we’ll be turning up the heat in our drafty auld place to at least 72. Hope I can get the windows plasticked before then.
I know exactly how you feel. Lucky for me those who live with me also like it cold. I just recently turned the heat on while everyone else had turned their heat on 2 to 3 weeks ago. It’s set to come on at 63 degrees if need be. Anything above 70 is too hot for me and I need airconditioning or else I will just sleep all day from being too hot. Nice crisp fresh air it’s so invigorating don’t you think?
Susan - The talking and walking thing is a whole post in itself, and a very long one. I realise I don’t explain it here, or elsewhere, so you’re only missing what I haven’t translated - but I’d also add that it does extend beyond the Midwest.
As for personal preference of temperatures, I’ve lived with a few people at different times who would choose a temperature that is uncomfortable for me but I’ve always understood that their preference was just that - for them; it wasn’t chosen to make my life miserable - just as I didn’t choose to walk a few feet in the freezing cold so as to annoy other people or to impress the impressionable ladies.
stwidgie - I’ve seen that clothing intended to impress the Gentlemen and I must say that impressed is not how I felt. Perhaps because of the seemingly permanent damp that sits through our winters I’ve know many people used to much colder temperatures find Ireland colder than places that are technically colder. It’s probably similar to humidity in summer making heat seem hotter than places that are hotter but drier. My little paintbrushes are still wet over 24 hours after washing them.
I do like it when bedtime and meals seem related to the winter and the seasons. In the cottage recently I was getting into that rhythym and the last time I had done that for a sustained period was when walking in the Himalaya far away from electricity.
Roxanne - Ah yes I do find crisp air invigorating. I can enjoy the feeling of wamth from the sun on the back my neck, but I can also similarly enjoy the feeling of cold on my face and arms. Some people believe you should never experience a feeling of cold.
I’ve long felt that fires are preferable heat sources for shared living as they faciliate people positioning themselves where they’re comfortable with the temperatures - in contrast with trying to compromise on some magical mythical uniform ideal temperature.
I imagine the type of ladies that might be impressed by such daring lack of coat, would be the same brilliant ones I see on occasion dashing from bar to bar, club to club, in midwinter weather and not much more than a halter top on. Suffering for their craft of being “the pretty girls” at the bar.
Eolai, come visit us in the woods sometime, and you can help us feed the woodstove from time to time between November and March. We always prefer it much cooler than the majority of Americans seem to, so much so that our wardrobes have a distinct bi-polar flavor. That is, we can’t really put away the warm weather clothes in the fall because when we visit our friends or go to town we need T-shirts instead of sweaters.
Trevor - Despite the rushing those girls you see are marathon runners compared to my morning walks across a car park. And they never seemed to be hanging around those office car parks to be impressed.
Martha - I always found it difficult explaining to people back in Ireland why after spending most days of the year in Ireland wearing a jumper that the much colder winters of Kansas City were far too warm in people’s houses (cars, shops, offices, etc.) to wear them there. Some winters in Kansas City I wore shorts right through - the legs being hardier than the torso, and they never being too far from excessive heat anyway.
I grew up mostly in Florida, and when relatives would come to visit from the north, they would ask, “how can you stand living in this heat.” My dads reply is one that I relate to entirely to this day. “Heat can be uncomfortable, but cold HURTS.”
Heather - yep, it’s really all about our own personal comfort, rather than a good and bad thing.
I daresay your dad’s words ring true for most people, especially those most comfortable in warm weather, and probably crystallizes the difference between the extremes of temperature for them, but you will also find people who have suffered more pain from heat than from cold.
Heaters frequently make people say “ow” by burning them; does a sudden open door into freezing temperatures ever do that? I don’t think air conditioning does.
I have always preferred cool to warmth.
When you are cold, you can always get warm with the addition of more or better clothing. In dire situations, you can always set fire to something.
But when you are too hot, and air conditioning isn’t available as is the case in large parts of this planet, the only solution is to shuck your clothes. Once you are naked, and still too hot, you’re quite simply screwed.