Kansas City Pickings
Here’s something I saw in Kansas City that I’ve never seen in Ireland. It may well happen there too, but in KC is the only place I’ve seen this.
Yesterday, or the day before, or one of these amazingly beautiful wet misty days, I was out walking with the dog.
We’re kind of like John and Yoko in that Imagine video where it’s pointed out that Yolo takes two steps to every one of Lennon’s, only because the dog has four legs and is even shorter than Yoko, it’s a case of twelve steps by the dog for every one of mine.
And I have short legs myself. Imagine if I was Sebastian Coe. Running. The dog would have to take one hundred and forty-four steps to my one. Imagine. I wonder if you can.
But anyway, there we are, walking along at a moderate pace with our six legs, when fifty yards ahead a car pulls in. It may or may not be relevant, but there are four large dogs in the car, and just like the joke there are three in the back and one in the front.
The driver gets out. He is man, by the way, not a dog. He walks back to the middle of the road. Where is he going I said to myself looking at the only thing visible on the road, a dead, very flattened, squirrel?
As he bent down at the squirrel I was puzzled as to why he might want a closer look, but he didn’t; he simply whipped it up like a dropped set of car-keys. Not with a plastic bag. Not with a glove. But with his bare hand. And quickly jumped back into the car and drove away, but not quick enough that he could get it to a hospital in time to save its life.
So, Kansas City, is this normal? An ordinary car, with no markings or obvious affiliations. For personal use? Somebody who just likes cleaner streets? With the pet food recall, somebody with four hungry dogs?
I’ve been told in the past that you can call the city and tell them there’s a rotting possum with a colony of lego figures settling inside, and they’ll come and remove it for you - but I’ve never seen this done and I have nothing against lego people.
Other Snippets of KC Life I Struggle to Come To Terms With:
• Going Out The In Door
• Fun
• Green Grass for God
Eolaí gan Fhéile:
never have I heard of anyone doing this. that’s disgusting.
Road-kill is considered a delicacy in some cultures. KC included, apparently. Personally, I’d prefer something more substantial than a squirrel, and so would my dog. He’s partial to the odd canvassing politician - dead or not. Me, well, I prefer my Greens.
Disgusting indeed. e-mails I’m receiving and my own suspicions are on the edible option. By the dogs, that is.