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From Euros to Dollars: Banking in the MidWest

-Hello, xyz-commerical-bank head office. How may I help you?
-Yeah, howaya, I’m an xyz-commerical-bank customer and I just wanted to check something with you.
-I’ll be glad to help you with any queries sir
-I have a few euros and I’d like to exchange them for dollars so I was wondering if you could tell me if any branches will do that or if I have to bring them to some central place downtown
-What city are you in?
-Kansas City
-Ok, let’s have a look, yes you can bring them to the Foreign Currency Department downtown, or I can read a list of branches that will do it for you
-Thank you, if you could give me the list please
-One Hundred and God-Knows-What Street, State Line, White Neighborhood, do any of these sound familiar?
-Yes White Neighborhood isn’t too far but tell me I’ve tried this before and been refused so could you just check with the branch for me please?
-Certainly sir, please hold the line for a moment
-You’re going to speak to them yourself, right? Because if you put me through we’ll just end up going around in circles?
-That’s right sir, hold on one moment
-Thank you
-Hello, xyz-commercial-bank White Neighorhood, how may I help you?
-Oh, I was on to your head office about changing euros into dollars and they put me through to you
-You’ll have to send them away
-Sorry?
-We can’t handle them, they’ll need to be sent away
-Sent away?
-Yes
-Like for collection to the European Central Bank to see if they’ll be honoured?
-We don’t handle foreign currency sir
-It’s not very much
-We don’t handle foreign currency
-I am a customer of xyz-commercial-bank
-We do not handle foreign currency
-Your head office said that you do
-Sir, we don’t handle foreign currency
-Well, I’m glad I checked. Do you know what branches do handle foreign currency?
-No branches do, sir
-No branches do?
-That’s right sir. Is there anything else I can help you with today
-No branches at all?
-That’s correct. Is there anything else you were needing today?
-Em, could you tell me how long it takes to send my euros away and get them converted into dollars?
-Three weeks, sir
-Would it be quicker if I brought them downtown myself to the Foreign Currency Department?
-You can’t do that sir
-Sorry?
-They have no facilities for handling the currency either
-The Foreign Currency Department has no facilities for handling foreign currency?
-There is no arrangement where they can accept the currency from you
-Oh, em, your head office said, well anyway, em…
-Anything else I can help you with sir?
-You’re not married are you?
-Is there any further assistance I can give you sir?
-Could you put me back on to your head office please?
-One moment, and thank you for banking with xyz-commerical-bank
-Hey, thank you
-Hello?
-Yes, I’m a customer and I live in Kansas City, and a few moments ago I was on to one of your colleagues about getting euros exchanged into dollars. He said I could do it at the Foreign Currency Department downtown, or at certain branches but when he put me through to one of those branches they said they couldn’t, that no branches could, that I’d have to send them away, and that I couldn’t even bring them to the Foreign Currency Department.
-Okay sir, let’s just call the Foreign Exchange Department and see what they say
-You don’t know the bank’s policy yourself?
-They will be more familiar with all business relating to foreign currency, and maybe we can set up an appointment for you
-It’s only a few euros
-Yes sir
-It’s not euro’s I’m looking for, you understand, it’s dollars, I want to exchange my euros for dollars
-Yes sir, let’s just call them and see what they say
-Okay
-Sir?
-Yes?
-They’re not answering right now and it looks like they might be finished for the day. Could you call back tomorrow at the same time and I’ll have a definite answer for you then?
-But if I call back tomorrow at the same time won’t they be finished for business again?
-Oh yes sir I’m sorry, could you call back a little earlier tomorrow?
-I’ll do that. Thank you
-Thank you for banking with xyz-commercial-bank

-Hello, xyz-commercial-bank head office, how may I help you?
-Yes I’m looking for somewhere to exchange a few euros into dollars. I was told yesterday by head office that some places could, and that no places could, and to call back so you could check with your Foreign Currency Department
-Where are you calling from?
-Kansas City
-Yes you can bring them to the Foreign Currency Department downtown, or I can read a list of branches that will do it for you
-Yes that’s what I was told yesterday
-That is the situation sir
-But then I was told that it wasn’t
-I have it right here in front of me sir
-Could you check with the Foreign Currency Department please
-No need to check sir, I have the documentation right here
-Okay, could you read me the list of branches that will take my euros, please?
-Certainly sir. Where in Kansas City are you?
-South, in Crummy Neighborhood
-That’s quite close to White Neighborhood?
-Kind of, but could you give me some other branches from the list please?
-Scary Village, State Line…
-State Line?
-Yes sir. State Line
-Did you want to check with them first and see what they say?
-No need sir, I’m reading it right here. It says, State Line, Foreign Currency
-Okay, thanks. I’ll give them a try so
-Anything else you need help with today, sir?
-No thanks, that’s great. Thank you
-Thank you for banking with xyz-commercial-bank, and you have a great day!

-Sir? Sir?
-Yes?
-Could you come over here?
-Sure
-And how can I help you today sir?
-I have a few euros and I wanted to exchange them for dollars
-Oh
-I have an xyz-commercial-bank account
-You’ll have to go back over there and wait until she’s finished
-Thank you

-Yes sir?
-I wanted to change some euros I have into dollars
-Do you have an account?
-Yes, here’s the number
-Okay, and you want these to go into your account Mr gan Fhéile?
-Actually no I’d prefer the cash. Could I just have the dollars?
-I’m sorry Mr gan Fhéile we have to send the euros away
-You have to send them away?
-Yes
-But I can deposit them into my account?
-Yes sir
-Okay, then if that’s what I have to do
-Sir?
-Yes, go ahead please
-Certainly sir
-And when will they reach my account?
-At least three business days, and it’s just after 2pm now so it’ll take about a week
-Okay, em could you tell me how much it is in dollars that is going into my account?
-No
-No?
-I don’t know what the rate is
-Could you look it up somewhere?
-We have no way of knowing
-But you’re a bank?
-Yes sir, but we are not the Foreign Currency Department
-So you can’t tell me how much money you’re putting into my account?
-I’m sorry Mr gan Fhéile, we have to send the money away
-I’m not looking for the exact rate, just kinda close to it as I haven’t checked the rates myself for over a month.
-I really can’t help you sir
-Alright so
-Unless Sheryl knows? Sheryl, do you know..oh thanks. Sir it’s 1.234
-1.234?
-Yes, but Sheryl says that’s the rate we sell euro’s at so your rate will be different
-That’s fine. Thank you
-Thank you, Mr gan Fhéile. Have a great day!

See Also:
    • A Kansas City Phone Call to Ireland
    • An Irish Prison Interview with Philo
    • The Hairdressers Guide to Information Technology #18
    • Dublin Slang-ing Match

This entry was posted on Friday, October 20th, 2006 at 4:55 am and is filed under 1-eolai, Branson, Ireland & USA: Differences, Irish Conversations. You can follow responses via my RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response or trackback from your site.