Given that Waterford United aren’t playing I suppose one could look elsewhere in my mother’s heritage, but that only technically pops out from the city of Liverpool to Kirkby - a move Everton themselves are about to make - but it doesn’t travel down the East Lancs Road.

Absurdity of absurdities! What next? That you believe herbal tea exists, and worse, that I should drink it?

I suppose you do have a point though, I mean too many people I know are so upset by Russian money in London that they want Man U to win as if one of the richest clubs in the world is some sort of plucky underdog about to indulge in a classic FA Cup giant-killing act, and not league champions on the verge of another boring double.

So thank you for reminding me of my heritage. How could I forget that I really hope Rooney does a Gascoigne and then cries on the touchline not because of his self-injured leg from his red-card inducing tackle, but because he’s watching Essien lord it and Drogba take the glory and the winners medal.